Category Archives: Blog

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Living with Fred and Exploding Eggs

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Update Aug 1, 2012: The author of the email described below is also the author of the amazing book, Help Me Be a Good Girl Amen. I stayed up past 4am reading it. You can read a sample at the link.

One of the best things about being published is hearing from readers. The reviews for Muffin Man are all entertaining to read, even the the two-star reviewer who claimed it wasn’t as engaging as Russo’s Pulitzer-prize-winning Empire Falls (in my dreams!) and who ended the review with:

I going out to eat a donut now. bye

Which I took indicate that the muffin may have had  a greater impact on him/her than he/she thought.

And nothing tops the review from IZONPRIZE that opens with:

Brad Whittington had me dedicated to the final page, from Day 1 like a momma chimpanzee looking for fleas on her only child.

But a recent email has the most unusual story associated with reading my books that I’ve received to date.  

Here’s an excerpt.

My eyesight is pretty bad, since I am now 86, so my daughter bought me a Kindle and I get to read anything that she has loaded in. I am REALLY enjoying the Fred stories.

I appreciate your rich vocabulary, which you use so extravagantly. I suspect a lot of folks don’t know what treasures you draw from.

I was getting such a kick out of your story this afternoon that I forgot I had put five eggs on to boil, and didn’t remember them till they started exploding. After the third shot-egg blast I got up and found egg parts all over the kitchen, and a horrible stink besides.

But — so — on with the book. Thanks so much for writing the way you do.

If I wasn’t already driven to write incessantly, emails like this one would do the trick.

Keep those cards and letters coming.

Blog

Excerpts from an interview

While cleaning the desk I discovered a copy of an interview from when Living with Fred was released. It was for a religious organization. I fear I failed to satisfy their requirements because I never saw it in print.

For your dining and dancing pleasure . . .

Q. How did you become interested in writing?
A. I was an early and voracious reader. I began writing seriously in 1981 when I got a computer. Since then, I’ve been unable to stop myself from writing. Perhaps I should change medication.

Q. What compelled you to write a book on this subject?
A. I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. Neither could anybody else.

Q. What is the main theme or point that you want readers to understand from reading your book?
A. The main thing I’d like readers to understand is that they will always have a great time when they pick up one of my books. If they don’t laugh out loud at least once, I’ll refund their money.

Q. Are there some specific lessons you hope readers will learn and apply to their lives after reading your book?
A. Never date a practical joker.

Q. How does the book intertwine with God’s call on your life and how you are currently serving Him?
A. I feel God has called me to stop being so annoying. When I’m writing, I’m not annoying anyone.

Q. Do you have a favorite Scripture verse? What is it and why is it important to you?
A. Please be quiet! That’s the smartest thing you could do. -Job 13:5 NLT. Those who know me realize how important this verse is.

Q. Thank you for taking the time to answer a few of our questions. As we close, is there anything else you would like to add?
A. Never use pliers on brass.

Blog

Why I hire a graphic artist for my covers

Publishers send an ARC (advance reader copy) to reviewers and potential endorsers before the release of the book so the reviews and endorsements are ready for the release. The ARC is not the final novel. It’s not copy edited and doesn’t have the front and back matter or the final cover.
A few weeks ago I found two potential endorsers. They are great writers and voracious readers, so I figured on sending an ebook version. Nope, they’re both old-school. Paper copies. I can appreciate that, but that means printing out copies and mailing them. I thought about doing them at home on the office printer. Then I thought about going to Kinkos to have them printed and spiral bound.
Then it hit me. I’m going to have to do the interior design anyway, why not use Createspace to make an ARC? They could read a real paperback. But that meant I needed a cover. Me, the writer, not the graphic designer.
I could have gone with the draft version of the cover I got from my graphic artist, but I wanted to make it very clear that this is an ARC, not a released novel, so I chose to design my own cover. As you can see, there’s a good reason I don’t do my own covers for the final product.

Blog

Muffin Man Cover Art Redux

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One detail I should have covered and, and one that is very important in marketing books, is viewing the covers in the sizes they will appear on online sales channels. The art may look good on the book, but if it doesn’t grab the shopper at pixel sizes 56 x 86, 85 x 115, and 190 x 260. The middle size is particularly important as it is displayed it the list of hits.
Does that change your vote?


Blog

Should Christians Drink?: The Case for Abstinence

Should Christians Drink?: The Case for Abstinence, Peter Masters, 1992

This one of two books in the list that was published before my 1996 essay. However, in a time before Amazon.com, books published by a small press in the UK were not readily available to geeks in Fred, Texas.

It became apparent after only a few pages that this book is not a dispassionate examination of the subject, but rather propaganda in the purest sense of the word, “the particular doctrines or principles propagated by an organization or movement.” It in no way can stand next to Bacchiocchi’s book as a serious inquiry into the subject, or even next to Libatique’s work, which is bush league at best.

Chapter One established the foundation for a Christian version of situational ethics, destroying the credibility of any statement to follow. For example, when a book argues, as this one does on page 32 regarding the wedding at Cana that, “It is possible that the Lord may have made the wine in a diluted state, ready to serve,” then it is apparent that we’re in the full throes of an agenda fueld by speculation to support a preordained conclusion, not an honest inquiry in search of the facts of the case. I mean, I ask you, “What the heck?” And I use that term advisedly.

The speculations that follow this statement beggar the imagination. It was with great effort that I forced myself to continue, even though I was already one third of the way through the book. It seems that this book, for which I paid $9.99 plus shipping comprises less than 30,000 words. It would seem that a Fred ebook, three times as long for less than a third of the price, is a great bargain!

It was also interesting to see Masters advance a completely unbiblical interpretation of equating weakness in faith with reluctance to embrace legalism, in contradiction to the concepts I discovered and discuss in WWJD. However, I do have to credit him with a very clever conflation of Levitical rules and the priesthood of the believer. It would have never occurred to me to connect those particular dots.

Overall, this skimpy book is short on both volume and substance. Don’t bother with it, especially if you’re looking for a thorough examination of the topic rather than a predictable and boring sermon.