A recent post at the Kill Zone blog prompted this post.In my view, all you have to do to be a writer is to write.Writer at Dictionary.comI’ve noticed that many of those who object to that view express their disagreement in terms of how it makes them feel, and particularly in terms of what they perceive in the unworthy claimants to be lack of sufficient motivation, seriousness, or dues paid. They typically draw some subjective finish line that in their mind demonstrates a person has the requisite motivation, seriousness, or pain. A line that they themselves have already crossed, of course.My view is that writers should take words more seriously. We shouldn’t create arbitrary definitions based on perceived threats to our self-image any more than a lawyer should re-frame a precedent to avoid looking bad during closing arguments.Do we allow only Jack Nicklaus, Bobby Jones, Arnold Palmer and their ilk to call themselves golfers, or does the guy who plays an occasional 9 and a full 18 on the weekends get to call himself a golfer?Do we allow only Andres Segovia, Julian Bream, Joe Satriani and their ilk to claim to be guitarists, or does the guy who plays songs in his home for his own enjoyment and to entertain his kids get to call himself a guitarist?In my humble, but accurate, opinion, anyone who expresses thoughts in the written word is a writer. As writers do, we can affix adjectives to qualify that appellation, such as casual, serious, deluded, professional, regrettable, accomplished, award-winning, best-selling, published, unpublished, or even the admittedly annoying, pre-published.But we should respect the language, the process and the end result more than to stoop to redefining words based on self interest.
Category Archives: Blog
Quote from Mike Mason
From The Mystery of Children by Mike Mason:Children and stories are inseperable because children live stories. Adults live in their heads, relentlessly analyzing. But children experience life directly. To children life is a story in which they are the main character.Adults, not content simply to be characters, want to be the author of their story. Being part of the story means surrendering control, but we like to think we can control our world, or at least a good chunk of it. At the very least we’d like to control our children!Children know (or at least better than adults) that they have little control. They know they’re not in control of their story, that they are not the author. To a greater or lesser extent, life simply unfolds for them. Only gradually do they enter into the state of self-realization wherein their actions become more conscious and deliberate.To be a little child is to believe implicitly in good and evil, in heroes and villains, in the invisible, in miracles and mystery, in princess and dragons, in true love and in happy endings. To be a child is to be caught up in pure story, embracing the events of one’s life uncritically because one trusts the Author.
Two firsts on 1/1/11
Remember that post about the guy writing a novel on Twitter? Turns out sections of it were quoted in the press release for the novel. That’s one first – never been quoted in a press release before. But the other first is being called a humorist. Wow, I’ve graduated!Here’s the relevant excerpt:
Novelist and humorist Brad Whittington admits to a fascination with Palmer’s
concept. But he’s not sure it will work.“In my humble (but completely accurate and independently verified) opinion,
Adam is stark-raving mad,” Whittington said.“For me, the thought of putting my first draft out there for public
consumption is mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly, spirit-suckingly horrific,” he
said. “I’d rather pose nekkid for Field & Stream.”
Full release here.
2010 Reading List
- *** Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino & Roger Avary
- ** Adventureland, Greg Mattola, August 5, 2007
- ** Morality for Beautiful Girls, Alexander McCall Smith, 2002
- *** Wodehouse: A Life, Robert McCrum, 2004
- *** Two O’Clock Eastern Wartime, John Dunning, 2001
- ** In Dubious Battle, John Steinbeck, 1936
- *** Good Night, Mr. Holmes, Carole Nelson Douglas, 1990
- *** Florence of Arabia, Christopher Buckley, 2004
- *** Songwriters on Songwriting, Paul Zollo, 2003
- *** Thank You For Smoking, Christopher Buckley, 1994
- *** Food, Ogden Nash, 1989
- *** Supreme Courtship, Christopher Buckely, 2008
- *** Zoo, Ogden Nash, 1987
- *** The Overlook, Michael Connelly, 2007
- *** Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds, Michael Hauge, 2006
- ** Walker Percy: A Life, Patrick Samway, 1997
- *** The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, Lauren R. King, 1994
- *** Velocity, Dean Koontz, 2005
- *** Alphabet Juice: The Energies, Gists, and Spirits of Letters, Words, and Combinations Thereof; Their Roots, Bones, Innards, Piths, Pips, and Secret Parts, … With Examples of Their Usage Foul and Savory, Roy Blount, Jr, 2008
- *** The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007
- **** Mere Churchianity, Michael Spencer, 2010
- *** Wry Martinis, Christopher Buckley, 1997
- ** To A God Unknown, John Steinbeck, 1933
- ** Passage, Connie Willis, 2001
- *** Out Stealing Horses, Per Petterson, 2003
- *** Revision & Self-Editing, James Scott Bell, 2008
- *** Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, 2010
- *** The Red Pyramid, Rick Riordan, 2010
- *** Rebel Island, Rick Riordan, 2007
- *** The Cure, Athol Dickson, 2007
- The Blue Umbrella, Mike Mason, 2009
- *** Tribes, Seth Godin, 2008
- *** Goodbye Hollywood Nobody, Lisa Samson, 2008
- *** Mucho Mojo, Joe R Lonsdale, 1994
- ** The Furniture of Heaven, Mike Mason, 1989
- ** Wonder o’ the Wind, Phillip Keller, 1982
- *** Mowhawk, Richard Russo, 1986
- *** The Scene of the Crime: a writer’s guide to crime-scene investigations, Anne Windgate, Ph.D, 1992
- ** Freezer Burn, Joe R Lansdale, 1999
- * The Island of the Day Before, Umberto Eco, 1994
- *** Plot & Structure, James Scott Bell, 2004
- *** Don’t Point That Thing At Me, Kyril Bonfiglioli, 1972
- ** Levi’s Will, W. Dale Cramer, 2005
- *** Bridge of Sighs, Richard Russo, 2007
- ** After You With The Pistol, Kyril Bonfiglioli, 1974
- *** The Black Echo, Michael Connelly, 1992
- ** Something Nasty in the Woodshed, Kyril Bonfiglioli, 1979
- *** The Black Ice, Michael Connelly, 1993
- **** The Help, Kathryn Stockett, 2009
- *** The Concrete Blond4, Michael Connelly, 1994
- *** Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson, 1883
- *** The Last Coyote, Michael Connelly, 1995
- ** Levi’s Will, W. Dale Cramer, 2005
- *** The Poet, Michael Connelly, 1996
- *** Inbound Marketing, Halligan and Shah, 2009
- ** The Road, Cormac McCarthy, 2006
- *** Trunk Music, Michael Connelly, 1997
- *** Robertson Davies: Man of Myth, Judith Skelton Grant, 1994
- *** Champagne for the Soul, Mike Mason, 2003
- *** Blood Work, Michael Connelly, 198
- *** The White Tiger, Aravind Adiga, 2008
- ** The Sign of the Book, John Dunning, 2005
- *** The Lost Hero, Rick Riordan, 2010
Publishing your first draft
Yo, writers out there, would you publish the first draft of your novel?That’s what multi-published author Adam Palmer is doing, via Twitter, during 2011. I assumed he would write something first and then publish it in tweet-sized bites. Nope. He’s composing in Twitter. It will be compiled (and edited) for a more conventional book in 2012. He posted his self-imposed rules for the project here.In my humble (but completely accurate and independently verified) opinion, Adam is stark-raving mad. [You say that like it’s a bad thing.]For me, the thought of putting my first draft out there for public consumption is mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly, spirit-suckingly, gonad-witheringly horrific. I’d rather pose nekkid for Field & Stream.And yes, I’m already following on @AdamAuthor.Zany things from Marcher Lord Press, who are not averse to batshit crazy stuff, evidently.
Writing dialog
Here’s an overheard conversation between brothers, 4 and 5, in bed in the dark. I wish I could write dialog like this.
J: Remember when we were driving back from Papa and Grandma’s after opening presents?
C: Yeah
J: You fell asleep and I saw Santa. He was going back to Papa and Grandma’s house. But they don’t have a chimney! And no one can unlock the chimney, not even Santa.
C: But God can unlock the chimney, cause he’s special.
.
C: I wish it was gonna be day in 3 minutes.
J: Me, too.
C: I wish it was always daytime.
J: When we go to heaven, it will always be daytime.
C: And we can’t even bring our house up to heaven. Not even our furniture.
J: And not even our guns. There won’t be anyone to fight in heaven.
.
C: Yeah…but we can hit Daddy.
.
J: I can jump off the roof of our house.
Quotes from Stuff I Like: Davies Part 3
As Calvin said that mankind was divided between the Elect, chosen to be saved, and the Reprobate Remainder of mankind, so it seemed to be with knowledge; there were those who were born to it, and those who struggled to acquire it. With the Scholarly Elect one seems not so much to be teaching them as reminding them of something they already know. -The Rebel Angels, p. 46
It is easy to find eccentrics in universities if your notion of an eccentric is simply a fellow with some odd habits. But the true eccentric, the man who stands apart from the fashionable scholarship of his day and who may be the begetter of notable scholarship in the future, is a rarer bird. These are seldom the most popular figures, because they derive their energy from a source not understood by their contemporaries. But the more spectacular eccentrics, the Species Dingbaticus, as I had heard students call them, were attractive to me; I love a mounteback. -The Rebel Angels, p. 47
People are said to be drifting away from religion, but few of them drift so far that when they die there is not a call for some kind of religious ceremony. Is it because mankind is naturally religious, or simply because mankind is naturally cautions? -The Rebel Angels, p. 84
As for energy, only those who have never tried it for a week or two can suppose that the pursuit of knowledge does not demand a strength and determination, a resolve not to be beaten, that is a special kind of energy, and those who lack it or have it only in small store will never be scholars or teachers, because real teaching demands energy as well. To instruct calls for energy, and to remain almost silent, but watchful and helpful, while students instruct themselves, calls for even greater energy. To see someone fall (which will teach him not to fall again) when a word from you would keep him on his feet but ignorant of an important danger, is one of the tasks of the teacher that calls for special energy, because holding in is more demanding than crying out. -The Rebel Angels, p. 87
“Odd about skepticism, you know, Simon. I’ve known a few skeptical philosophers and with the exception of Parlabane they have all been quite ordinary people in the normal dealings of life. They pay their debts, have mortgages, educate their kids, google over their grandchildren, try to scrape together a competence precisely like the rest of the middle class. They come to terms with life. How do they square it with what they profess?”
“Horse sense, Clem, horse sense. It’s the saving of us all who live by the mind. We make a deal between what we can comprehend intellectually and what we are in the world as we encounter it. Only the geniuses and people with a kink try to escape, and even the geniuses often live by a thoroughly bourgeois morality. Why? Because it simplifies all the unessential things. One can’t always be improvising and seeing every triviality afresh. But Parlabane is a man with a kink.” -The Rebel Angels, pp. 99-100
Quotes from Stuff I Like: Davies Part 2
“Very nice, I grant you,” said Cobbler, “but I agree with your wife. The Vambrace girl has something very special. Mind you, I don’t mind ’em a bit tousled,” said he, and grinned raffishly at Miss Vyner, who was, above all things, clean and neat, though she tended to smell rather like a neglected ash-tray, because of smoking so much. “This business of good grooming can be carried too far. For real attraction, a girls’ clothes should have that lived-in look.”
“I supposed you really like them dirty,” said Miss Vyner.
“That’s it. Dirty and full of divine mystery,” said Cobbler, rolling his eyes and kissing his fingers. “Sheer connoisseurship, I confess, but I’ve always preferred a bit of ripened cheese to a scientifically packaged breakfast food.” -Leaven of Malice
“Music is like wine, Bridgetower,” he had said; “the less people know about it, the sweeter they like it.” -A Mixture of Frailties
During the first day or two she attempted to get on with War and Peace, but found it depressing, and as time wore on she suffered from that sense of unworthiness which attacks sensitive people who have been rebuffed by a classic. -A Mixture of Frailties
He was conscious also, and for the first time, of why Domdaniel was regarded as a great man in the world of music. He conducted admirably, of course, marshaling the singers and players, succoring the weak and subduing the too-strong, but all that was to be expected. It was in his capacity to demand more of his musicians than might have been thought prudent, or even possible(to insist that people excel themselves, and to help them to do it (that his greatness appeared. With a certainty that was itself modest (for there was nothing of “spurring on the ranks” about it) he took upon himself the task of making this undistinguished choir give a performance of the Passion which was worthy of a great university. It was not technically of the first order, but the spirit was right. He had been a great man to Monica, for he could open new windows for her, letting splendid light into her life; but now she saw that he could do so for all these clever people, who thought themselves lucky to be allowed to hang on the end of his stick. Without being in the least a showy or self-absorbed conductor he was an imperious, irresistible and masterful one. -A Mixture of Frailties
His reply had that clarity, objectivity and reasonableness which is possible only to advisors who have completely missed the point. -A Mixture of Frailties
Moral judgments belong to God, and it is part of God’s mercy that we do not have to undertake that heavy part of His work, even when the judgment concerns ourselves. -A Mixture of Frailties
But the character of the music emphasized the tale as allegory (humorous, poignant, humane allegory(disclosing the metamorphosis of life itself, in which man moves from confident inexperience through the bitterness of experience, toward the rueful wisdom of self-knowledge. -A Mixture of Frailties
Quotes from Stuff I Like: Davies Part 1
It seems quaint to those whose own personalities are not strongly marked and whose intellects are infrequently replenished. -Tempest-Tost
The Forresters, as they told everyone they met, had “neither chick nor child”. Their failure to have a chick never provoked surprise, but it was odd that they were childless; they had not sought that condition. -Tempest-Tost
He had allowed his daughters to use his library without restraint, and nothing is more fatal to maidenly delicacy of speech than the run of a good library. -Tempest-Tost
The thought which was uppermost in his mind, when at last Griselda stopped and turned to him, was that his mother never went to sleep until he had come home and that her displeasure and concern, issue from her rather as the haze of ectoplasm issues from a spiritualist medium, filled the house whenever he came home late. -Tempest-Tost
His key seemed to make a shattering noise in the lock. And when he entered the hall, which was in darkness, maternal solicitude and pique embraced him like the smell of cooking cabbage. -Tempest-Tost
And because he had been born to this lot, he accepted it without question; as children always do, and as some adults continue to do, he invented reasons why he should be as he was, instead of seeking for means by which he might be delivered from his fate. -Tempest-Tost
The borborygmy, or rumbling of the stomach, has not received the attention from either art or science which it deserves. It is as characteristic of each individual as the tone of the voice. It can be vehement, plaintive, ejaculatory, conversational, humorous(its variety is boundless. But there are few who are prepared to give it an understanding ear; it is dismissed too often with embarrassment or low wit. -Tempest-Tost
Do The Math
The Value Proposition: Movie vs Book.Let’s be honest. When it comes down to it, most decisions are about the bang for the buck. Most people don’t think twice about throwing down admission price for the latest blockbuster movie of their flavor of choice. In my area, that’s $10 a head for prime time. Of course, the movie experience isn’t complete without some kind of concessions, soda, popcorn, candy, hot dog, whatever, at loan-shark prices. Now you’re up to around $20 for 2 hours of entertainment, or $10 per hour.Now let’s take a novel. The Passage has been hot this year.It’s $16 in hardcover at Amazon.com right now, running at 784 pages. Let’s say you read a page a minute (which is pretty fast). That’s 13 hours of entertainment, or $1.23 per hour. A movie costs eight times more per hour. Eight times. You can get The Passage in paperback or Kindle at $10, running you $0.77 per hour. A movie costs thirteen times more per hour. Are you getting this?
You can have 2 hours of movie and only get half of Deathly Hallows for $10 plus rapaciously-priced popcorn in a chair next to a stranger who hogs the arm rest, or have 13 hours of book and get all of Deathly Hallows for $7 plus any food your heart desires at sane prices in the most comfortable chair in your home.Here’s the funny thing, the psychology of it. At the movies, you step up to the window and the girl says, “Ten dollars,” and you don’t blink. At the bookstore, you pick up a book, you see the $16 price tag, and you think, “Really? Sixteen dollars?” and you put it back down.Does anybody else think that’s weird?